I am a first mom. Sometimes I have this feeling that I am not doing the proper way in raising my child. Well there are also days that I feel like I am good at it. But since I work, the thought of being a crappy mom is stronger every time I leave him.
For example, I let him indulge on his favorite ice cream every time he wants it, and then I felt bad afterwards because he got colds. I also feed him junk foods, we eat fast food and I give chocolates. Where I shouldn’t be as his healthy lifestyle in the future will be at risk.
I also feel bad every time I let him watch on YouTube wherein he should not be exposed on-screen since he is just 2. And I’m doing this simply because I want few time for myself to rest after a long day.
I’m quite often feel unreasonable as a mother also times, I realize that I am not more hands on to him. Instead of pampering him.
But am I a bad mom? Really a bad one?
Or maybe it is just me being a first time mother who doesn’t know anything yet as one. I ask friends who also have same situation as mine. Who just rely on google about what is the right thing to do. Or maybe I am just comparing myself to other moms out there.
What should I do to feel good?
Honestly, my kid is still far from knowing what is wrong and what is right. I am teaching him gently now though. But if he feels happy every time he eats ice cream, so then I let him enjoy it. And if I see his happy eyes, I feel like a mommy hero to him!
He likes playing with me even just for few minutes, he likes riding on my back, and he likes tickle-tickle with me as well and it makes me feel love by him.
He will get my cellphone and watch his favorite nursery rhyme or even cartoons on Youtube, but he is also learning something from it. And I think its fine, but with him limits of time!
Whenever I feel like a bad mom I will just see the happy eyes of my child. His cheerful face is also my happy face. His joyous reaction makes me feel good! And that is more important to me!
I don’t want to be a perfect mother to him. And I do not want him to think of me as a mommy monster who just always contradicting his wants. But, also I wouldn’t want him to grow up a brat who just get what he likes.
All I want is my child to remember that he had great childhood memories! And it is what I am going to build.
So when I feel like I’m bad a mom, I will just tap my shoulder and pray and then stop worrying because I am not one. I can’t be perfect to my child and will never be! But someday my child will remember me as someone who has done a great job as a mother to him and that is all that matters to me!
You may want to read: Why mom Shaming,Mom?
What about you mama? What do you do during those days you feel not so good as a mother to your kids? Wanna share?